Record Scratch. Freeze Frame.

Photo by Cristina Mittermeier

Yup, that’s me. You’re Probably wondering how I got here.

There are two types of people in the world. I’ll call them the lady and the duck.

The lady is badass. She has figured this shit out. She knows what she needs to do and she knows how to get it done.

The duck has no idea what is going on. Its only job is to not to screw things up for the lady. It should get basically no credit for anything that happens to be going right in this situation.

Incidentally, I think that most people who are the lady feel like they are the duck, while people who are the duck believe that they’re the lady.

The fact that the lady knows what needs to be done and knows how to do it, doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy and it doesn’t mean that life won’t intervene to place obstacles in our way. And when we stumble – when the duck falls off our head – we believe that it’s because we’re incompetent. We want to believe that absolute control is possible, and so if our life isn’t perfect then we have to believe that it’s because of our own shortcomings. And we look at people with apparently perfect lives – we see them striding confidently down the street with that duck perfectly balanced on their head – and we imagine that it is because they know something that we don’t. We haven’t seen all the times the duck has fallen off or the times that the duck has shit directly onto her face.

Meanwhile, we’ve all met someone who was born on third base and thought they hit a triple. People who take credit for anything that goes well and blame anything that goes wrong on others. They ride through life on the heads of lady types and then demand the gratitude and veneration of the lady types for what they deem to be their own remarkable feat. And their audacity tricks some of us into believing, at least for a brief time, that maybe they’re right; maybe they’re the example of perfection – of someone in complete control – that we’ve been looking for. Or at least they would be in complete control if there was no filibuster rule in the Senate and if not for the Fake News and if only they could dictate all the rules. In other words: they convince the people around them that they are a perfect person [in an imperfect world], and that they could control the world [if only the world were more amenable to being controlled].

We need to accept that everyone makes mistakes, and that the people who claim to be infallible are liars. We need to accept that maybe we, the imperfect badass lady types of the world, are the ones that should be leading it. Even though it will be hard. Even though the duck will fall off our head sometimes.

Posted in: Progress

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