Love Should Be Conditional

Cartoon Cred: The Awkward Yeti

“Romantic”:
2: having no basis in fact;
3: impractical in conception or plan;
4: marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized.

Unconditional love is certainly romantic; it flies in the face of reason, reality and self-interest, and we permit ourselves to be valourized by it. We imagine that love is more true if we are willing to love the person in spite of what they do and, in essence, in spite of who they actually are.

I have unconditional loyalty to my brothers; I’d help them hide a body even if they punched me in the face as I was digging the hole. That has nothing to do with love – it’s because I feel responsible for them. But to love a person who dismisses or mistreats you speaks only to your feelings about yourself, not your feelings for the other person.

Unconditional love is an incredible high, and it’s not surprising the things that people are willing to do to get their fix; but when it starts to hurt you and the people around you, a continued commitment to that love is no more noble than a commitment to heroin.

Posted in: Love

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